Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
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I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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