Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We talked him into tasing himself.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I need to calm my uterus...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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