You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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