After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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