Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize