What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize