at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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