He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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