the condom got lost in my hair
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You were trust falling into bushes
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize