I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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