He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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