Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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