im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
we're so committed to being not committed
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize