I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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