dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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