I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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