dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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