I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Me. At least after what I've been through.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize