before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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