i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
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Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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