My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
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I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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