this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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