its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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