1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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