I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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