Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize