she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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Be still, my beating vagina.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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