i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize