im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize