Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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