Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Randomize
Follow @tfln