True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize