the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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