So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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