Got a toothbrush?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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