And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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