If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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