Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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