dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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