Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Randomize