Don't you send me to vm
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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