i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Randomize