There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
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There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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