i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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