Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
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Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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