Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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