I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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