if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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