they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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tequila makes me forget i have legs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
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We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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