He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize