tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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